Presenting a Big FUCK YOU

Oh my friends, it is time for another episode of 

DIATRIBE TUESDAY!

I would like to present a big FUCK YOU to a group member of mine. 

Dear Bitch Face,  you are the rudest person I know. Ever. I hate you with a goddamn passion. I can't wait for you to die and your carcass rots in the stink hole that they place you in. Why are you even in college? You only want to be a fat stay at home mom who can control every single aspect of you ugly probably bitched faced children. Your cheeks are so chubby because they are filled with opinions and thoughts no one even wants to hear. Stop bitching about how much your life sucks. Oh, you have irritable bowel syndrome? Great thanks for informing me and the rest of our group. We really needed to know the constant state of your bowels. Thanks for also understanding that I would be late to our meeting because I have a 10 minute appointment with my advisor. 

10 FUCKING MINUTES

But apparently if I was going to do that I would be the only group member not working and I will not have earned my grade in this class. To avoid confrontation with this arrogant fat ass I cancelled my appointment. We started our group meeting at 3:10 and the meeting ended at 3:15. WOW that was SO important that I had to cancel a meeting for. And during this so called 'important' meeting this annoyingly bossy chubby cheeked group member told us that she is taking a back seat on this one so she will not be doing this assignment.  

Please let us all stand up and give this sleazy shit talking cum dumpster the fuck you salute. 

I'm Just Lazy

Oh Arrested Development has made me smile. This happened to be one of my favorite scenes so far. To the people not watching this show it probably looks extremely odd. I had tears. Running down my face laughing.

My favorite guest star had to be Kristen Wigg. I normally am not a fan of hers however, she played her part perfectly. So perfectly that I had to mention it here. I entirely appreciate the effort that went into making the series. They worked hard to make this happen and it showed within the details. 

I was in my bed for over 24 hours. I don't even know. I didn't want to move. I slept, I watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I watched Arrested Development, I got up a few times but it was probably for less than 15 minutes. I will probably get up and workout today and continue writing my many papers. 

I still have no motivation. Someone bitch slap me so I can get writing. Or can someone yank me out of my bed. I did leave at some point to get food and step outside. But it is pouring, leaving when it is raining like crazy is hard to do. You know what else is hard to do? Start a paper that you don't want to write. It's a never ending cycle. 

Glued to My Bed

Well I had an unproductive day. I was supposed to get out of bed 6 hours ago. It is 5pm and I still am in bed. Sleeping the entire day away. What is up with that?

I didn't stay up too late, I just never actually go out of bed. I did enjoy some brand spanking new episodes of Arrested Development. However I am taking it slow and enjoying the moment. Because once it is over, who knows if there will be more episodes. It's a little confusing with time jumps but it slowly is being pieced together. I still have 10 episodes left! YAY! I think the other thing that is slowing me down is I'm on the final season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Spike is a complete mystery to me! I WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!

I really should of gotten out of bed today. I have papers to write and other shit to get done. 

I know I shared this before but I love this!

Fake Eyelashes Are Hard

WHY ARE FAKE EYELASHES SO HARD

I just want to have long beautiful lashes!

OK so maybe that is a bit ridiculous. 

I went to the bars last night and tried to put on some fake lashes and I FAILED! Oh well. Whatever. I had fun. This is kind of crazy but I cannot drink like I used to! I'm only 23! I would wake up the next day with out feeling the ramifications. I drink half the amount and my head hurts. Not even half the amount. I think I had 4 shots total, maybe 5. I stopped drinking at 11pm and I had at least 4 glasses of water. Yet, I wake up with a head ache. My life! That's ok, I had a good time. 

I have a full day of studying ahead of me. Well, writing. I have 3 papers due in a little over a week. It is time to buckle down and be one productive student. After I eat of course. I now have to eat something. But I there isn't much here at my apt. And I can't afford to eat out anymore but it is SO EASY TO EAT OUT! I need to find a sugar daddy. 

I'm writing TONS today and unfortunately its going to be less here because I don't get a grade or credits for this. Lets be honest. It wouldn't be as fun if someone was forcing me to do this. 

NAILED IT!

Oh Amanda Bynes, you crazy! I tried to re-create this beautiful image. 

Because I am Queen procrastinator. 

I tried putting on fake eyelashes and ended up stabbing my eyes out so I tried to make due with eye brow pencil and lipstick. However I don't think I quite got that 'I'm insane' look

NAILED IT!

Well I tried, maybe I'm not on enough cocaine. Let me mix that with some heroin to create a speed ball.

Yes, I drew a uni-brow on my face. Can I get a weirdo of the year award. Is there a trophy that comes with this because I'll accept it with a uni-brow drawn on my face and maybe I'll make a mascara mustache. It totally looks like I went out side of my lips with the lipstick, but I didn't. Them kissers is mines! Watch out boys I'm quite the hottie. How do I keep them away. Maybe it is the drawn on eyebrows. However, the Frida look is so sexy and very in. 

It's a cold day and I have a lot of work to get done. Which is hard because it is Friday. Friday means stop whatever you are doing and have fun. I do not get that luxury. It is time for me to do work son! I have a paper due today, a final draft due today and papers to start. My life is about to get a whole lot more stressful. I'm just that much closer to becoming a college graduate. However close it may be it is literally tearing me apart. Hopefully I won't regret this degree. 

I've Made a Huge Mistake

Arrested Development is almost here! Only a few more days until I fall into the further into the depths of the pit that is procrastination hell. It's a good thing there is always money in the Banana Stand. If only I had a Banana Stand... I'd have money. Daddy Warbucks can I have a Banana Stand?

I guess I've been a bit down lately. I'm trying to pick myself up school is just making me feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. And I just want to lay flat on the floor. George Michael gets it. 

But I'm a trooper and after I eat some ice cream I'm sure I'll perk back up. If anyone wants to donate ice cream money to perk me up that would be great! Although it probably won't help my figure...eh lets be honest I'm not worried about it!

I'm getting worried about all my built up procrastination. I have 4 papers to write and I haven't started them at all. I'm going to back my self into a corner until I utter the words: I've made a huge mistake.

Arrested Development has so many life lessons to offer. Maybe I should procrastinate more by watching all three seasons in preparation for the new episodes they are releasing. Or maybe I should start writing those papers before I realize what I've become. 

I Love Vampires

It happened. It actually happened. I never thought I'd be one of these people. Not only has it happened but it occurred after the whole fad was over. I can't believe I'm going to say this.

 I Love Vampires

WHOA! STOP! Pump the breaks people. It isn't what you are entirely thinking. I'm not a teeny bopper obsessed with glittering people. If I wanted glitter I'd buy a god damn diamond. (Either that or I'd skin my vampire boyfriend and sell his skin on the black market so that rich white woman could wear glitter coats in the sun.) Now I've only seen the first Twilight movie. It gave me the heebie jeebies. I didn't find it to be romantic in really any way. So I promise you my love does not come from Stephanie Meyers religious based, marriage-waiting book. No, it comes from a TV series that I thought was stupid when I first started watching. At some point in the last few weeks I became hooked. I'm not really quite sure when that happened. But, Buffy the Vampire Slayers has me swooning over defective Vampires.


Yes I mean defective. And I guess it is really difficult to explain but I will do my best. The first vampire who stole my heart was Angel. His defect is that he has a soul- not a horrible defect- but it is something that causes him remorse from killing and feeding off of people. Anyways when he didn't have his soul he was a complete dick that needed an ass kicking. But thankfully his softer mysterious, leather coat wearing self was still a cutie. After I'm done with Buffy I'm going to have to start watching this spin-off show. Dammit I loved Angel...When he wasn't a complete ass hole of course.



That was the last of my vampire crushes...Or so I thought. Well... until Bad Boy Spike came into the picture and stole my heart leaving Angel in the dust. Spike's defect is a chip lodged within his brain that prevents him from harming other living beings. From this chip he has become a more compassionate evil being. My theory is that he has had enough negative reinforcement towards harming others that it has changed his thinking. Also I think before he had a defect he was a loving form of evil...if that makes sense. His vampire evil was not even half as horrible as soulless Angel. Like I said, soulless Angel is a dick.  I don't know what is about Spike. His striking cheekbones perhaps or the fact that he tries so hard to gain the attention of a woman who can never love him in return. Maybe it's the Billy Idol look (in which Billy Idol stole from him...) .Perhaps it is the leather jacket or maybe I just love the fact that something so bad could be so sensitive and have feelings. That make me want to hug him like a dangerous teddy bear.

Like I said the latest Vampire Craze is ending since Twilight is fading...And I'm only about 10 years late on the Buffy Series. Eh, better late than never and with cooler more developed characters. There is just something about a bad boy with a sensitive side. However, I have never dated any bad boys. Bad boys are scary and they don't show their sensitive side. I need a fake bad boy who isn't really bad but appears that way. He obviously needs a leather jacket.