Responding to The 'Single' Question.

Betcha you all thought I wasn't going to get to a blog today. Well BAM 11:09 starting it. Still before midnight. GO ME!

I was hungover today. Very hungover. Nausea, headache, and a morning vomit session. I can pinpoint the exact point of the night where I should of been like- No just stop drinking. This group of guys bought shots and said take two whiskey shots before taking a chaser. I should of said no OR only one. I did both. MISTAKE! I was walking like a drunken fool. I did not drink anymore after that but it didn't matter I was drunk. So this morning I went and viewed that apartment and it is PERFECT! Very excited to move in and have kitty cat roommates!

Today was my friend Lindsay's wedding. I had to drive two hours to go and see it. And when I arrived at the location, it turns out there was a renaissance fair right next to it. My first two thoughts were:

1. Why is this guy dressed like a pirate (this was before I knew about the fair)
2. Did they go with this weird themed wedding that I wasn't aware of?

The bride looked beautiful, it was a small wedding. Half of the guests were the Grooms enormous family. I wanted to have a good time but I kept dwelling on how much I loathed weddings. How did I get to this cynical point in my life? I should be happy about my friends making this big step, but instead I groan and want to slit my wrists. Maybe its fear, jealously, loneliness or the fact that being a single girl at a wedding sucks.

Where is your boyfriend? How are you single? Don't worry you'll find someone!  

Ok, so I didn't get asked these questions at this wedding but still, those questions occur more often than I like. I need to create automatic answers for these types of questions.

•  I am a raging lesbian and I can't marry in this state.
• Marriage is punishment for shopping in some countries.
• My boyfriend would be here but I have to stay 50 feet away from him at all times because of this silly restraining order thing. 
• Getting married would be bad for my prostitution business, I can't focus on my clients if I have a man. 
• Break in to tears and cause a commotion. 
• Reveal feelings for the Groom/Bride and state that I came here to stop the wedding
• The Scientology leaders say that I can't marry until Tom Cruise marries again. 
• Pretend a random guest is your lover. Preferably someone who is really married. 
• Lie, tell them you are in a happy relationship and drink away the sadness.

I'm not over dramatic. Not at all!

May the Fourth Be With You, Always.