I'm going to start an Advice Section- well if any one actually asks for my advice.
My first person to not ask for my advice is Vet School Blues:
"I am unable to get into Vet School and I can't get a job. I don't know what to do with my life, what should I do?"Well Vet School Blues I suggest you not worry. To solve the Vet School issue keep applying until they accept you, persistence can be annoying. Even if you become a Vet at 45 years old, you will still reach your goal. My mom became a teacher in her 40's. I suggest you follow her path. GO MAKE BABIES! Turn the oven to pre-heat darling! Your biological clock is ticking woman! You may think well I need at least a boyfriend for this. WRONG! Wrong Wrong Wrong! You don't even need a man! Two words: SPERM BANK! Bam, problem solved! I am great!
You may be wondering how I knew Vet School Blues was a girl. This is because I may have made an actual conversation a part of this advice section. If you would like advice please feel free to ask me. I will take every question as serious as possible. Oh an mom thank you for being an exaggerated example!
Just to be clear: I did not go make babies after becoming a teacher in my 40s.
ReplyDeleteOh by the way, try flavored bubbly water (not the diet kind, just fizzy perrier type water). Usually comes in citrus flavors. It helps with the soda-pop withdrawal.
ReplyDeleteWarning: any carbonated beverage could still bother your stomach even if it's not loaded with all the other evil stuff.