Don't Be a Smelly Douche Nozzle

Dear Ladies and Gentlemen,

Today we are going to talk about perfume and cologne and how much may be too much. 

Ladies, I'm sure you're coconut vanilla butter cream smells great. 

And Gentlemen, your manly cologne smell is enticing at times.

If you used your perfume or cologne to cover your not so clean self. You have already made an error in judgement. Odds are... 

YOU ARE USING TOO MUCH SMELLY!

If I can't breath when you are standing next to me.

YOU ARE USING TOO MUCH SMELLY!

However, if I can still smell you after a three minutes of you passing

YOU ARE USING WAY TOO MUCH SMELLY!

Now perfumes and colognes can really smell nice. They can. I don't know if I just have a blood hounds nose, but I believe the minimum is the best thing ever. A hint of a scent is way sexier than your scent suffocating the entire world. Maybe just like religion, some people don't really want it shoved down their throats. So use scents wisely people. Don't be a Smelly Douche Nozzle