Life Advice

I need life advice. I can't exactly tell you what I need advice for because I'd rather not spew my personal issues on a public blog. So whoever wants to give me advice- Call me, text me, facebook me, whatever! Well...don't call me. Because I hate talking on the phone. I'm just an awkward phone talker. I'd prefer to talk in person actually but considering most of my readers live at least 3 hours away, technology will have to work.

I'm super hungry but I do not want to cook for myself! Life is hard huh! I need a chef/I need to like different types of food! I just ate buttered bread because I couldn't decide what else I wanted to ingest. I'd go to the store but I don't like driving my car and I really just to lay on the couch and snack. So if someone could bring be chips or something. Maybe a root beer float?

I played volleyball yesterday for the first time in I don't know how long. It felt great! However I realized very quickly how out of shape I was. After playing for 20  minutes I was exhausted! Damn! How did I do this in high school? I thought I was semi in shape now. Apparently I'm the fat kid minus the fat! I also had a ab workout that left me practically in tears. Shit, if I continue that I'm going to be ripped. Bikini season is almost here, might as well continue. The plus side of thing is that I already look fantastic in a bikini so extra work won't really do anything but make me feel kick ass.


I promise though I won't go for that super muscular look. I'm talking about female body builders. Because that is really gross. And I promise I will never use fake tan. I'm Snow White beautiful dammit! I think I will take boobs over woman pecs any day! I mean, look at those thigh muscles...ew. The only reason I would want to be that muscular is if I was an angry person and loved getting in fights. I'd always win. But then again with all that steroid use I'd probably grow a mini penis. From what I hear, men love ripped women with mini penises. Did this get weird? I think so, but you guys should already know that I am weird. If not...

 WELCOME TO MY STRANGE WORLD!