I had an accident yesterday. Life or Death . I fought for my life.
Blood was spewing everywhere and I placed pressure on my wound. Throbbing pain and expletives. I ran into my room and whipped out my first-aide kit to try and find something to temporarily stop the bleeding. Rummaging around I could not find what I desperately needed. I was seconds away from passing out from blood loss when I finally found the thing I needed...
Spongebob Squarepants Band-aids and neosporin.
Ok so I may of been exaggerating and eensie bit. I was grating cheese and thought some flesh would be a great flavor to add to my chili. It did hurt like a mother fucker. And I did bleed. My ouchie is now a rectangle shape, just liked grated cheese.
See how painful it is, and how swollen and red it is despite neosporin. Obviously I'm unable to take care of myself. I'm a lost cause, I should of just given up the battle and let the cheese grater win. I'm sorry if I worried you with my introduction. I am in fact fine. Just imagine if something actually happened how completely complainy I would be. Pray that I do not actually get hurt. I'm going go put spongebob on my ouchie.
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE!? WHAT'S WRONG WITH THEM!
WHY ARE THEIR UPPER LIPS SO BARE?!
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| Nick Offerman, Sam Elliot, Burt Reynolds, Tom Selleck, Louis C.K., Zach Galifianakis |
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